FIRST LOOK - IT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOU

“I’ll have another!”

Aoife glared at Zara from the other side of the bar, trying to decide if her best friend was already drunk or just happy to finally have an evening off work. “You do realise that one more of these and you’ll be on your back.” She took the empty martini glass from the counter and shook her head. “They’re strong.”

“Only because you put a little extra in for me,” Zara said, winking as she propped her head in her hand. “Which I’m always very grateful for.”

Aoife’s brows rose. She didn’t actually put any extra alcohol in Zara’s drinks. She didn’t need it. “Sure, yeah. Maybe you should move from that stool to a table a little closer to the floor.”

“I’m fine.”

Aoife chose not to argue with Zara. She rarely won anyway. Instead, she turned her back and added ingredients to the cocktail shaker. The time had just passed six in the evening, meaning that The Albert was no longer a bistro but now a bar. When Aoife took this place on four years ago, she wanted a little of both. Since most people preferred to have one or the other, she had decided to cater to the bistro lovers during the day and early evening and then offer what the drinkers wanted at night. She couldn’t have worked it out any more perfectly. Aoife couldn’t recall a day when she wasn’t busy and rushed off her feet.

She set a fresh drink down in front of Zara, giving her a knowing look. “I know you haven’t been out for a while, but slow down. I don’t want to have to refuse to serve you before it’s even seven o’clock.”

Zara held up her hands, nodding slowly. “Okay. Okay. I’ll slow down.”

Satisfied that Zara would behave herself, Aoife took a few drink orders from regulars standing around the bar area, then moved towards her diary. She had a meeting this evening with a mother and daughter about hiring this space in six weeks. Yes, it had seemed very sudden to Aoife, most people planned a party way in advance, but she also understood that these things could be spur of the moment. Either way, the bar would make good money, and she would provide a great atmosphere.

“So,” Aoife said as she approached Zara and rested an arm over the beer pump closest to her. “What do you think I should do about this date in a couple of weeks?”

“I think you should go for it. Just because you met via an app, it doesn’t mean it won’t work out. It’s how everyone is meeting people these days.”

Aoife wanted to step out of her comfort zone and explore, but the last few relationships she’d embarked on hadn’t been great. Lori had been nice, but she was high maintenance. Erica had been one to wander towards other women, even in front of Aoife. Then there was Claire. She was just way too much to deal with. Sometimes dramatic, other times aloof. She also had no issue telling people what she thought of them, even when it was rude and uncalled for. Aoife didn’t want that in a partner. She wanted someone who didn’t snarl at customers while she propped herself up at the end of the bar night after night.

Aoife was just…unlucky.

Or maybe she was terrible at picking women.

“Maybe, I don’t know.” She sighed as she reached for her lukewarm coffee. “It’ll only be a disaster like last time. And the time before that.”

“I know you think this all comes down to what you did all those years ago, how it’s some sort of karma or whatever, but I think you sabotage yourself before you’ve even gone on the date. It’s like you talk yourself out of it, you know?”

Zara was right. Aoife was great when it came to talking herself out of things. Then, before she knew it, the date was over, and she hadn’t been remotely interesting. “Surely this is my karma, though. I haven’t met a decent woman in…well, since then.” Aoife regarded Zara with a wry smile. “Maybe she was the one, and I had my chance.”

“From what you’ve told me, she had the chance to be with you. And instead, she chose her husband.”

Aoife opened her mouth to speak, but Zara held up a hand.

“I’m not saying having an affair with a married woman is something I’d encourage, but you did give her the option to come clean to him. You told her you wanted to be with her. If she chose to stay with him, then that’s up to her.”

Ten years may have passed, but Aoife still looked back on that time of her life with a smile on her face. Elizabeth Elliott was every lesbian’s dream. And it hadn’t been the whole married thing that drew Aoife towards her. No, she had been her boss…her superior. So what if that was what turned Aoife on. Elizabeth only had to give her one look, and Aoife was practically crawling towards her on her hands and knees.

“You’re thinking about her again!” Zara snapped her fingers in front of Aoife’s face, bringing her from her daydreaming. “It was ten years ago. You’ve lived an entirely different life. And so has she.”

“I know. And even if she walked in here now, I wouldn’t take her back. Not…that she’d want me. She didn’t then, so she wouldn’t now. It’s just,” Aoife paused as she shook her head lightly. “That was the last time I felt that spark. None of the women I’ve met since then have really done it for me. Sure, they’ve been lovely in their own way, but none of them have given me that racing heart.”

Zara rolled her eyes. “You read far too many romance novels. I’m not even sure that kind of love exists.”

“Oh, it does. I had it. Until she chose the husband over me and made me feel like complete shit.”

“Enough of her. The past is the past for a reason. You can’t go back and change it, and I wouldn’t want you to. Things happen the way they’re supposed to. And anyway, you have me. Your best friend in the world.”

“I’m thirty-seven. I’m single. If something doesn’t happen for me soon, you’ll be my best friend in the world and my wife. Because I’ll fucking drag you down the aisle if I have to!”

“Now that’s something I’d be interested in. Do I get half of this place when I divorce you?”

Aoife swatted at Zara’s arm, laughing. “Stop it now. Behave. I have an hour left, and then I’ll join you for a glass of wine before I have this bloody meeting.”

***

Aoife scrolled through her phone, looking for a particular picture her date had sent to her a few days ago. Zara sat facing her, waiting impatiently, still fairly sober considering she’d sunk at least four Pornstar martinis within ninety minutes.

“Have you found it yet?”

“No. Give me a minute.” She scrolled again, landing on the picture she wanted. “Oh! Found it!” Aoife turned her screen to Zara. “Her name is Hattie, she’s a few years younger than me, and she lives just outside the city. I don’t think she’s from Liverpool. I think she decided to stay once she’d finished her degree.”

“A bit like you. That’s something you have in common. Good place to start.” Zara grinned. “She’s gorgeous, too.”

“Don’t most people end up staying around here? I couldn’t imagine going back home.” Aoife had grown up in Cheshire. While that wasn’t terribly far from Liverpool, it was far enough. “I just love it here. Especially having this place on the dock. It’s vibrant, and you never know who is going to walk through the door on any given day.”

As Aoife said that, the door opened, and a young woman walked through. She approached the bar, speaking to Harry, one of Aoife’s servers, then turned towards the table Aoife sat at.

“Hi. We have an appointment with you.” She turned her watch towards herself. “Well, it was meant to start five minutes ago, but Mum is still trying to find a parking space. She told me to run in and apologise.”

Aoife locked her phone and got to her feet. “Oh, that’s okay. No rush. I know what the parking is like around here. Can I get you something to drink while you’re waiting for her?”

“I’d love a glass of red. Thank you.”

Aoife eyed the young woman, almost certain she wasn’t old enough to be drinking. “Could I see some I.D.?”

“Oh! Of course.” She slid her phone from her pocket and took her driving license from one of the pouches. “Here you go.”

Aoife studied it, surprised that she was eighteen. Only by a few weeks, but eighteen nonetheless. She glanced at the name and handed it back. “Perfect. Thanks, Sofia. If you’d like to take a seat on the couches over at the back, I’ll bring it over.”

Sofia smiled and turned on her heel, weaving through the mostly full tables. Aoife had set a reserved sign down on her usual preferred spot when she met with clients a few hours ago. The last thing she wanted was to take them through to the office. Not only was it a little miserable back there, but it was full of invoices and other paperwork.

Aoife turned to Zara. “Do you want another drink while I’m behind the bar? You’ll be on your own for a while now. I have some business to sort out.”

Zara smiled. “No, I’m good. Harry can serve me when I’m ready for more.”

“Okay, well, don’t leave. I thought we could have a few drinks once I’ve dealt with this party.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Get on with it so we can talk more about this lovely date of yours.”

As insufferable as ever, Zara quirked a brow and shooed Aoife towards the bar. She was lucky she was her best friend; anyone else would have been told to piss off by now. Still, she knew Zara just wanted her to be happy. But really, Aoife was happy. She had her own thriving business, and she had a lovely little apartment two minutes from The Albert across the other side of the dock. What more did she want or need?

She quickly took care of Sofia’s drink order and then met her at the table.

Sofia looked up at her, quickly lowering her phone to the table. “Mum is on her way over. She said she would be two minutes.”

Aoife nodded as she set her planning diary down on the table, then opened it on the required page for this particular party. “We could probably get started.”

“Well, Mum kinda thinks this is just a small gathering. She’s turning fifty, doesn’t want to make a big deal about it, and barely agreed to it at all.”

Aoife had heard that many times before. Only once the day came, the birthday guest, in general, had a wonderful time. Usually leaving a little worse for wear. “Okay, small gathering.”

“I mean, it won’t be.” Sofia sat forward in her seat and sipped her glass of red. “So, whatever number she tells you, double it. I’m determined to make this a night to remember. She’s had such a rough time lately, and I want her to forget about it all and just enjoy herself.”

Aoife loved that. How Sofia was willing to give her mum the greatest night. It only made Aoife want to work twice as hard on this event. “Okay, so we’re pulling out all the stops then.”

“Yeah. Definitely. Give her a price for what she tells you, and then I’ll call in again tomorrow and give you the remainder of what it’ll really be. If…you’re okay with that?”

“Perfectly fine. As for the remainder, you can bring it along the night of the party. Just a deposit is required today.”

“Oh, fantastic!” Sofia beamed a smile.

Aoife made some notes in the required fields, jotting down her own shorthand to make things move along quicker.

“Here she is. Finally.” Sofia rose to her feet and waved her mum over.

Aoife continued making her notes, giving the soon-to-be birthday girl a chance to sit down and catch her breath.

“Sorry about that, Sof. Bloody nightmare parking around here.”

Aoife stilled her pen, frowning as she listened to the voice. It sent the hairs on Aoife’s arms standing to attention.

“Gorgeous place you’ve picked.”

And then it hit her.

Nobody said ‘gorgeous’ the way a particular someone once had.

Aoife slowly lifted her head and looked up at the woman towering over her. It was exactly who she thought it was.

It was Elizabeth Elliott.

“Aoife?” Elizabeth’s brows drew together. 

Stay calm. Relax. Don’t let her or her perfect life get to you. “Hi, Liz.”

“Wow! I didn’t expect to see you here. Do you work at this bar?”

Aoife smiled and focused back on her planner. Liz looked fucking amazing, and Aoife wasn’t sure she could deal with her. For a start, she would have to bring in extra staff on the night of the party…because she sure as shit wasn’t working it. “Yeah. Something like that.”

“I had no idea. I don’t really frequent this area much anymore. Mostly because of that fucking parking.”

“You two know one another?” Sofia cut in suddenly.

“Yes. Aoife and I used to work together. A long time ago.”

Not long enough, Aoife thought as she pressed her pen harder to the paper.

“That’s amazing.” Sofia pulled Liz down beside her, meaning they would soon be eye to eye when Aoife plucked up the courage to finally make eye contact again. “So, shall we make some plans?”

Liz sighed. “Can I at least get a drink first?”

“I’ll get it.” Aoife shot up from her chair and looked down at Liz. “What would you like?”

“I’ll have the same as Sof. Glass of red, thanks.”

Aoife moved towards the bar, clenching her hands into fists. Zara looked back at her over her shoulder, sensing that something was wrong. Aoife simply gave her a look that said, ‘not now’, then focused on Liz’s drink.

This very woman had broken her ten years ago, and as she was now learning, lying through her teeth. Liz had never mentioned having a child back when they’d…dated. Had an affair. Whatever they wanted to call it, Aoife had never known about a child. If she had, she never would have gotten involved with Liz. It had already been wrong on every level, so to add a child into that was incomprehensible. Fuck!

She put on her best smile, lifted the glass, and walked back towards the table. She would never give Liz the satisfaction of knowing the pain she had caused. If Aoife had learnt anything over the years, Liz wasn’t worth it. Yes, they’d had an incredible eighteen months together; at one time, they’d even talked about moving in with one another. But then she dropped Aoife. So fast Aoife had barely had time to process the moment when Liz told her they couldn’t see one another anymore. And it hadn’t just been sex. No, they were in love with one another. Madly in love, as far as Aoife was concerned.

“Glass of red.” She placed the glass down in front of Liz and cleared her throat. “Now, let’s get down to business.”